There's a well-known paradigm for grieving and
serious illness which teaches us that we go through
stages in our path, from first encounter to
finally moving beyond the event.
The stages are simplified into denial, anger,
resignation and acceptance.
Of course, most people who have lost a loved one,
or are facing their own serious illness, don't
proceed neatly through these stages. They tend
to move back and forth between them.
And no one knows for sure whether anyone truly
gets to the resignation phase and stays there.
I think you probably get to a point at which
you are resigned to what happened and have moved on.
But then something like a holiday or special life
event, or hearing a certain song, makes you feel
angry or depressed again.
I learned a lot about this theory of grieving back
in the 1980s, when I interned one summer in college
at a spinal cord injury unit in Boston.
The (mostly) young men - there were a few women -
who were injured and had become paraplegics or
quadraplegics definitely went through a profound
grieving process.
The nurses and doctors told me that each person
goes through at their own unique pace, and in
their own unique way.
But one of the most important components of their
treatment - equally, if not more important, than
the medical care they were getting - was providing
the mental and emotional support to get through
their dark days and begin to see that there was
still the chance for a full, happy life.
If they couldn't make this leap from mourning and
despair to hopefulness and expectancy, they were
literally doomed.
Over the years, I've been able to use my exposure
to this truth to help get through the inevitable
bumps and bruises of life.
Losing a loved one, having your heart broken,
suffering humiliation or defeat....not much fun at
the time. But ultimately you have to soldier on and
find your way past the heartbreak.
When you make it through, you then have the chance
to craft a new life for yourself.
Think about that. Out of the ashes of despair can
come a sparkling new life, perhaps better than
any you ever dreamed of for yourself.
You just have to be open to it. While at the same
time, remembering the lessons you have learned
from what you just went through.
Now, you may be thinking, 'What does this have to
do with breathing or my health, Karen?'
Well, in my own experience, as well as working with
other people who faced chronic conditions, such as
asthma, arthritis, anxiety, being overweight, and
so forth - I've seen a pretty clear pattern that
is similar to the stages of grieving.
First, when you begin having problems, or are
diagnosed with a disease or condition, or wake
up one morning and finally admit your are fat...you
may be in denial.
I know I was when I was first diagnosed with asthma.
You can't accept the fact that you have a chronic
disease, condition or health problem that you will
have to deal with for the rest of your life.
Then you may get angry.
Your body became an adversary, an unknown. You may
feel mentally and psychologically separated from it.
And when you are out of harmony like this, you tend
to do less healthy, even self-destructive things.
You stop honoring your body because you don't trust
it anymore.
In this type of situation, the most universal emotion
we all go through, or have been through, is depression.
What can you do to help yourself get through this
successfully?
I'll talk more about that in your next tip.
You Can Do It!
Karen Van Ness
http://www.BestBreathingExercises.com
P.S. Getting back into harmony with your body can be
as simple as learning to breathe and relax. The Secret
Power of Dynamic Energy Exercise Course, Volume I,
shows you how. Just a few minutes a day can help you
regain control. For more information, or to order
your copy of the program, visit
http://www.bestbreathingexercises.com/dynamic_energy1.html.
Copyright, KVN Enterprises, Inc. 2008
**The contents of this daily email are not to be considered
as medical advice. Always consult a physician before
beginning or changing any health or fitness regimen.**
